Gold 101 FM, bringing you the best topics from the nineties till now.
Mr Red: Wishing you a very good morning and you're listening to the Mr Red and Notred breakfast show.
(Somebody whispers)
Mr Red: Yes, I get it, it's twelve in the afternoon, but that's not the point. (Laughter) With you here is Mr Red as what the chinese call 'mo li hua'. And my sidekick... Mr Notred (thunderous applause) which is not like what the chinese call 'mo li hua'.
Mr Notred: Hi. (Very unenthusiastic)
Mr Red: So... Mr Notred, I heard that recently there has been a surge in the number of thefts in schools.
Mr Notred: Really? I didn't know about that. Oh yah, and P.S. I always thought that there were only female obasans, don't tell me there are also male obasans.
Mr Red: Who are you talking about? Who is the male obasan?
Mr Notred: You.
Mr Red: Oh. Anyway, back to the point about thefts in schools. I heard from my sister-in-law that her daughter's wallet has been stolen recently. which has like a one dollar note and a five cent coin in it.
Mr Notred: How old is she?
Mr Red: Five years old.
Mr Notred: That explains everything. Which reminds me, I still remember the not so memorable days I spent in my secondary school. There was this crime ring that happened during the time, all my classmates were so skeptical about it, they hid their wallets and sealed it in the toilet cubical right next to my classroom.
Mr Red: Huh? Why? Just lock it in the locker, save time save space.
Mr Notred: You can hack other people's locks, but you can't hack the toilet.
(snorts of laughter)
Mr Red: So no wallets got stolen.
Mr Notred: Nah, they all went missing.
Mr Red: Why? I thought you said the toilet was safe?
Mr Notred: Yes, the toilet was safe. Too safe. Everyone locked it and placed it above the toilet bowl and in the end the wallets accidentally got blown into the toilet bowl and ended up being flushed away by the patronising cleaners who cleaned up.
Mr Red: Oh I see. Pretty stupid of you guys to do so though. I still think it's safer to lock it in the locker.
Mr Notred: I also remeber the time when I got my first crush on this girl which thick curly hair who look like gorilla...
Mr Red: Erm... Mr Notred, I hate to break it to you but we are here to talk about thefts in schools not about your nostalgia in your younger days.
Mr Notred: Hey. But you are right, we should provide these youngsters with some tips to deal with these scenarios. Like erm... what are the safest places to keep you wallet such as the toilet or your teacher's handbag.
Mr Red: Exactly, so all you youngsters out there, better listen up, regardless of whether you are the theif or the casualty, cause you might need to use it in your next life. *Pueh.
Here's a sample of my groups podcast. Hope you enjoy:)
(Gold 101 FM, bringing you the best topics from the nineties till now…NOT!)
Mr Red: Hi I am Mr Red As Monkey’s butt.
Mr Notred: And I am Mr Notred
Mr Red: and you’re listening to the Mr Red and Notred show where we bring you the juiciest topics all the way back from your grandfather’s, grandfather’s, grandfather’s, grandfather’s…
Mr Notred: Ok, (laughs) I think we have enough grandfathers already. So lets get on with the topic. Eh, by the way Mr Red, did you read about those erm kidnapping scams that happened recently in Singapore?
Mr Red: Of course lah. They were on the headlines of the newspaper, got one what Ah Lian got conned out of her lifetime savings because she thought that her son was kidnapped.
Mr Notred: If it was me ah, I wouldn’t even answer the phone.
Mr Red: Even if it’s your sweetheart calling you to meet her out for a Valentines dinner? If you do that I think when you go home kanna whacking by her.
Mr Notred: Ha, ha, joking only lah, of course I will answer the phone, nowadays got such a thing called caller ID, it tells you who is calling, if it’s my dear dear of course I’ll answer the phone. On the other hand if it’s a salesman, stranger or my ah ma calling huh, I won’t pick up the phone.
Mr Red: What? Warning to all those dear young listeners out there, please do not follow this big bad kor kor here ok? He is a very bad example, no filial piety. If your mother calls please answer the phone.
Mr Notred: You really don’t know how to take a joke. But really, we should take these kidnapping scams seriously.
Mr Red: Yah, you know yesterday, my mother received a phone call telling her that her son was kidnapped and that if she didn’t hand over $5 dollars at a place in Mumbai by tomorrow, she would never see him again.
Mr Notred: Five dollars only? No problem.
Mr Red: I know, but the caller was from Mumbai. So we ignored him.
Mr: Notred: It was probably a scammer from the chicken curry house in Mumbai asking her if she wanted her chicken back before they cooked it in curry.
(Laughs)
Mr Notred: Anyway, I realised that scammers most of the time like to prey on those old housewives.
Mr Red: Yah, so we decided to come up with solutions on how to avoid kidnapping scams for all those really, really, really, blur housewives out there.
Mr Notred: Tip number one: Never answer the phone even if its your mother-in-law calling you.
Eg: Mother-in-law: Eh, tomorrow there will be a gathering at my place to celebrate my grandmother’s 130th birthday, don’t be…
(dial tone)
Mr Red: Haha, that was a good one, comes really in handy sometimes to avoid really preachy monster-in-laws. Just kidding. Tip number two: When you are going marketing, never listen to those gossips by other housewives during a gossip session.
Eg: Housewife 1: Did you know this afternoon, I overheard a conversation between two men saying that they kidnapped this boy living in block 101 at around 1p.m. and that they were going to kill him if they did not receive the ransom money by tomorrow?
Housewife 2: Really? There’s this lady who lives at block 101 who went to the market today in pink trousers and flowery top, do you think it could be her son? (Describing you)
Housewife 1: I don’t know, might be.
Mr Red: Because it just might be a scam.
Eg: Housewife 1: Eh, you see that obasan over there in flowery T- shirt?
Housewife 2: The one which looks like an old hag or the one trying to stuff her humongous bra with toilet roll?
Housewife 1: No lah! The one wearing pink trousers.
Housewife 2: Oh, I see. Yah so what?
Housewife 1: She is the perfect candidate for our kidnapping scam. See? So blur, she confirm fall for the trick one!
Housewife 2: Yah lor. Just say her ah boy kidnap then she xiao already.
(Evil cackling)
Mr Notred: A brilliant excuse why we shouldn’t listen to gossip. Eh, but Mr Red, what happens if you do pick up the phone and it does happen to be a scam?
Mr red: Simple. Here are some ways of how to evade them. How to evade kidnapping scam no.1:
Scammer: Your ah boy has been kidnapped, you better come with one thousand dollars or you will never see him again!
You: Ai ya, now recession, I bo money liao, tell my son go die lah, during recession get kidnapped. If I want a son I go and adopt another one.
Scammer: Errr… (Speechless)
Mr Red: Or you could simply play deaf.
Scammer: Your ah boy has been kidnapped, you better come with one thousand dollars or you will never see him again!
You: Huh? I cannot hear! Can speak louder? You mute is it?
Scammer: Your ah boy has been kidnapped, you better come with one thousand dollars or you will never see him again!
You: Huh? Hello? Anybody there? Can speak louder?
Scammer: Your ah boy has been kidnapped, you better come with one thousand dollars or you will never see him again!
You: Excuse me: How many times do I have to tell you to speak louder. I cannot hear ok?
Scammer: (Dial tone)
Mr Notred: I have a simpler version.
Mr red: What is it?
Mr Notred: Pretend you are a bangledashy.
Scammer: Your ah boy has been kidnapped, you better come with one thousand dollars or you will never see him again!
You: (load of rubbish)
(dial tone)
(Both laugh)
Mr Red: I hope you took down the ways on how to evade those kidnapping scams cause they might come in handy some day. So when it does happen, don't say Media never warn you.
Mr Notred: Yup, Whether it’s a scammer from Mumbai curry chicken house or Singapore.
Mr Red: Hey Mr Notred, I just realised that our bosses just gave us a pay cut you know?
Mr Notred: What? Recession always like this one. I think later when I go home I am going to scam my ah ma for money to pay for gahmen’s income tax ah.
Mr Red: But after our nifty advice, she won’t be falling for your retarded antics.
Mr Notred: Hah, you sure?
Mr red: Yah.
(2 hours later)
Mr Notred: Erm hi, is this Mrs Notred?
Mrs Notred: Yes. How can I help you?
Mr Notred: Congratulations, you have just won a thousand dollars for the prettiest obasan competition.
Mrs Notred: Really? Wah, how coincidental, now recession. Eh, so what do I have to do?
Mr Notred: Just pass me your credit card number and I will bank in the amount for you.
Mrs Notred: No problem. Just let me find it…
(thanks for tuning in to Gold 101 FM The station which prays that you don’t kanna scam)
Name: Jennison
Age: 13
School: Not telling
bday: 8 March
[[ The Wishlist ]]
Infinity wishes!
Getting into English Drama
Murder the CCA teacher
New books
Throwing a 'I HATE CCA' Party
[[ Don't talk crap, it's fucking rude ]]
Tagboard here.(Duh!)
Gold 101 FM, bringing you the best topics from the nineties till now.
Mr Red: Wishing you a very good morning and you're listening to the Mr Red and Notred breakfast show.
(Somebody whispers)
Mr Red: Yes, I get it, it's twelve in the afternoon, but that's not the point. (Laughter) With you here is Mr Red as what the chinese call 'mo li hua'. And my sidekick... Mr Notred (thunderous applause) which is not like what the chinese call 'mo li hua'.
Mr Notred: Hi. (Very unenthusiastic)
Mr Red: So... Mr Notred, I heard that recently there has been a surge in the number of thefts in schools.
Mr Notred: Really? I didn't know about that. Oh yah, and P.S. I always thought that there were only female obasans, don't tell me there are also male obasans.
Mr Red: Who are you talking about? Who is the male obasan?
Mr Notred: You.
Mr Red: Oh. Anyway, back to the point about thefts in schools. I heard from my sister-in-law that her daughter's wallet has been stolen recently. which has like a one dollar note and a five cent coin in it.
Mr Notred: How old is she?
Mr Red: Five years old.
Mr Notred: That explains everything. Which reminds me, I still remember the not so memorable days I spent in my secondary school. There was this crime ring that happened during the time, all my classmates were so skeptical about it, they hid their wallets and sealed it in the toilet cubical right next to my classroom.
Mr Red: Huh? Why? Just lock it in the locker, save time save space.
Mr Notred: You can hack other people's locks, but you can't hack the toilet.
(snorts of laughter)
Mr Red: So no wallets got stolen.
Mr Notred: Nah, they all went missing.
Mr Red: Why? I thought you said the toilet was safe?
Mr Notred: Yes, the toilet was safe. Too safe. Everyone locked it and placed it above the toilet bowl and in the end the wallets accidentally got blown into the toilet bowl and ended up being flushed away by the patronising cleaners who cleaned up.
Mr Red: Oh I see. Pretty stupid of you guys to do so though. I still think it's safer to lock it in the locker.
Mr Notred: I also remeber the time when I got my first crush on this girl which thick curly hair who look like gorilla...
Mr Red: Erm... Mr Notred, I hate to break it to you but we are here to talk about thefts in schools not about your nostalgia in your younger days.
Mr Notred: Hey. But you are right, we should provide these youngsters with some tips to deal with these scenarios. Like erm... what are the safest places to keep you wallet such as the toilet or your teacher's handbag.
Mr Red: Exactly, so all you youngsters out there, better listen up, regardless of whether you are the theif or the casualty, cause you might need to use it in your next life. *Pueh.
Here's a sample of my groups podcast. Hope you enjoy:)
(Gold 101 FM, bringing you the best topics from the nineties till now…NOT!)
Mr Red: Hi I am Mr Red As Monkey’s butt.
Mr Notred: And I am Mr Notred
Mr Red: and you’re listening to the Mr Red and Notred show where we bring you the juiciest topics all the way back from your grandfather’s, grandfather’s, grandfather’s, grandfather’s…
Mr Notred: Ok, (laughs) I think we have enough grandfathers already. So lets get on with the topic. Eh, by the way Mr Red, did you read about those erm kidnapping scams that happened recently in Singapore?
Mr Red: Of course lah. They were on the headlines of the newspaper, got one what Ah Lian got conned out of her lifetime savings because she thought that her son was kidnapped.
Mr Notred: If it was me ah, I wouldn’t even answer the phone.
Mr Red: Even if it’s your sweetheart calling you to meet her out for a Valentines dinner? If you do that I think when you go home kanna whacking by her.
Mr Notred: Ha, ha, joking only lah, of course I will answer the phone, nowadays got such a thing called caller ID, it tells you who is calling, if it’s my dear dear of course I’ll answer the phone. On the other hand if it’s a salesman, stranger or my ah ma calling huh, I won’t pick up the phone.
Mr Red: What? Warning to all those dear young listeners out there, please do not follow this big bad kor kor here ok? He is a very bad example, no filial piety. If your mother calls please answer the phone.
Mr Notred: You really don’t know how to take a joke. But really, we should take these kidnapping scams seriously.
Mr Red: Yah, you know yesterday, my mother received a phone call telling her that her son was kidnapped and that if she didn’t hand over $5 dollars at a place in Mumbai by tomorrow, she would never see him again.
Mr Notred: Five dollars only? No problem.
Mr Red: I know, but the caller was from Mumbai. So we ignored him.
Mr: Notred: It was probably a scammer from the chicken curry house in Mumbai asking her if she wanted her chicken back before they cooked it in curry.
(Laughs)
Mr Notred: Anyway, I realised that scammers most of the time like to prey on those old housewives.
Mr Red: Yah, so we decided to come up with solutions on how to avoid kidnapping scams for all those really, really, really, blur housewives out there.
Mr Notred: Tip number one: Never answer the phone even if its your mother-in-law calling you.
Eg: Mother-in-law: Eh, tomorrow there will be a gathering at my place to celebrate my grandmother’s 130th birthday, don’t be…
(dial tone)
Mr Red: Haha, that was a good one, comes really in handy sometimes to avoid really preachy monster-in-laws. Just kidding. Tip number two: When you are going marketing, never listen to those gossips by other housewives during a gossip session.
Eg: Housewife 1: Did you know this afternoon, I overheard a conversation between two men saying that they kidnapped this boy living in block 101 at around 1p.m. and that they were going to kill him if they did not receive the ransom money by tomorrow?
Housewife 2: Really? There’s this lady who lives at block 101 who went to the market today in pink trousers and flowery top, do you think it could be her son? (Describing you)
Housewife 1: I don’t know, might be.
Mr Red: Because it just might be a scam.
Eg: Housewife 1: Eh, you see that obasan over there in flowery T- shirt?
Housewife 2: The one which looks like an old hag or the one trying to stuff her humongous bra with toilet roll?
Housewife 1: No lah! The one wearing pink trousers.
Housewife 2: Oh, I see. Yah so what?
Housewife 1: She is the perfect candidate for our kidnapping scam. See? So blur, she confirm fall for the trick one!
Housewife 2: Yah lor. Just say her ah boy kidnap then she xiao already.
(Evil cackling)
Mr Notred: A brilliant excuse why we shouldn’t listen to gossip. Eh, but Mr Red, what happens if you do pick up the phone and it does happen to be a scam?
Mr red: Simple. Here are some ways of how to evade them. How to evade kidnapping scam no.1:
Scammer: Your ah boy has been kidnapped, you better come with one thousand dollars or you will never see him again!
You: Ai ya, now recession, I bo money liao, tell my son go die lah, during recession get kidnapped. If I want a son I go and adopt another one.
Scammer: Errr… (Speechless)
Mr Red: Or you could simply play deaf.
Scammer: Your ah boy has been kidnapped, you better come with one thousand dollars or you will never see him again!
You: Huh? I cannot hear! Can speak louder? You mute is it?
Scammer: Your ah boy has been kidnapped, you better come with one thousand dollars or you will never see him again!
You: Huh? Hello? Anybody there? Can speak louder?
Scammer: Your ah boy has been kidnapped, you better come with one thousand dollars or you will never see him again!
You: Excuse me: How many times do I have to tell you to speak louder. I cannot hear ok?
Scammer: (Dial tone)
Mr Notred: I have a simpler version.
Mr red: What is it?
Mr Notred: Pretend you are a bangledashy.
Scammer: Your ah boy has been kidnapped, you better come with one thousand dollars or you will never see him again!
You: (load of rubbish)
(dial tone)
(Both laugh)
Mr Red: I hope you took down the ways on how to evade those kidnapping scams cause they might come in handy some day. So when it does happen, don't say Media never warn you.
Mr Notred: Yup, Whether it’s a scammer from Mumbai curry chicken house or Singapore.
Mr Red: Hey Mr Notred, I just realised that our bosses just gave us a pay cut you know?
Mr Notred: What? Recession always like this one. I think later when I go home I am going to scam my ah ma for money to pay for gahmen’s income tax ah.
Mr Red: But after our nifty advice, she won’t be falling for your retarded antics.
Mr Notred: Hah, you sure?
Mr red: Yah.
(2 hours later)
Mr Notred: Erm hi, is this Mrs Notred?
Mrs Notred: Yes. How can I help you?
Mr Notred: Congratulations, you have just won a thousand dollars for the prettiest obasan competition.
Mrs Notred: Really? Wah, how coincidental, now recession. Eh, so what do I have to do?
Mr Notred: Just pass me your credit card number and I will bank in the amount for you.
Mrs Notred: No problem. Just let me find it…
(thanks for tuning in to Gold 101 FM The station which prays that you don’t kanna scam)